Signs you are married to a scrapbooker.

1. The camera is the most expensive piece of electronic equipment in your house.

2. You know Heidi Swapp isn't a porn star.

3. In one month you spend more money on stamps than water.

4. When you ask your wife what she is doing and she says, "peaing" you know she isn't
in the bathroom

5. The camera is now your purse and you don't leave home without it.

6. You are aware that Making Memories isn't a verb.

7. Somehow, beyond you control, .25 cents for one piece of paper is a good deal.

8. you know a BOS isn't somebody you work for.

9. "Effer" is now part of your everyday vocabulary and somehow calling someone an effer is no longer offensive.

10. Scrap booking has taken over an entire room in your house.

11. When your wife says she was in the pub the other day, you know she didn't have any beer or fish `n chips.

12. When you wife says she is going to a crop you know she isn't talking about farming.

13. Your wife says she wants to go to CKU and you don't say, "Honey, you just graduated, why do you want to go back so soon?"

14. There is a direct corelation between the amount of time your wife is in the scrapbook store and the damage done to your checking account.

15. Your wife has a fishing tackle box but has never been fishing.

More to come when I think of them.

Tyse

Spell check

Has anyone else noticed this blogger.com thing has the worst spell checker ever? It's like from Mexico or something, it asks me to fix words I didn't type, Like it highlights "didn't" and then suggests some words in Spanish or something. I wonder if they spent too much money on blog hosting space and had to cut costs on the spellchecker so they picked one up from Mexico for 10 pesos.

Update----
I just ran spell check on this entry, it found "spellchecker" as an error and then suggested "splices", the spellchecker doesn't even know it exists, I think this is to prevent A.I.

The second error was "blog", now this is really funny, the blogger spellchecker thinks blog is an error, I would expect Word to pick up blog, but the blogger spellchecker? Then it suggested BLOC as a fix, I dont' know what bloc is or means, but I've never used it, maybe it's another languauge.

Note to Blogger.com webmaster: "Could we invest another 25.00 into a better spellchecker? Maybe one that knows blog might be used when putting in an entry on your BLOG!?

Tyse

Tips

Why the hell does everyone in this county think they need a tip for doing their job? I am so sick of tipping everyone for doing what they are getting paid to do. Pizza guy, waitress, cab driver, skycap, valet, bellman, bar tender, massage therapist, paper boy, milk man, beautician, coffee shop server, card dealer. Every time I see that stupid tip line on my credit card receipt it pisses me off, just sitting there above the total line so you have to look at it, you try to ignore it, but it’s still there just looking up at you saying, “Don’t look away punk! You know I’m here, put the amount down loser”. I now have a new trick for the tip line, it’s called, “hand over tip line trick.” This is how it works, when you get your receipt and you see the tip line, put your hand over both the tip line and total line and just sign at the bottom acting like you never saw the tip line because you were using your hand to hold the paper. However, if you get a really crazy tip demanding person, they will say, “oh sir, you forgot to put in the total”, in which you can reply, “oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t even see it.” This is usually when the voice in my head says, “stupid tip demanding person, taking all my money for doing a crappy job, I hate you and your tip line, burn in hell!!” Then I put down the $1.00 tip and walk away.

Why the hell do I have to feel guilty for not giving them a tip? Tips used to be rare, unexpected, if you thought someone went well out of their way to help you then you could show them some gratitude with a tip. But now it’s just expected you have to tip them for doing a normal job, if they do a bad job then you can punish them with only a 10% tip. WHAT THE HELL!!! They did a shitty job so I am going to show them, HA! Take that you shitty waiter; you are only getting 10%. You are still paying the guy 10% bonus for doing a crappy job!!! That is so screwed up!

I work in an office, 9-5 normal job. I would love to just take naps during work, come late, leave early, miss work, and only do half my job. Then have my boss sit down and say, “Well since you have been slacking off, we are only going to give you a 10% bonus instead of 15% or 20%.” Then you have that damn tip jar, everybody has a tip jar. The other day I went to a pizza place to pick up my carryout pizza order and by the register was a tip jar, so I think to myself, “the reason why people come to pick up their pizza is because they don’t want to pay a tip.” So I asked the guy, “why do you have a tip jar?” he says, “well it’s for anyone who thinks we are doing a good job” Then I said, “well I think I do a good job at my work and nobody gives me a tip? And he says, “well do you have a tip jar?” I just sort of sat there for a minute, I didn’t have a tip jar, what was I going to say to the guy? So I just said, “good point”, took my pizza and left.

Now there is a tip jar sitting on my desk next to the entry way to my cubical so everyone can see it, it’s empty, but I think someday I will get some tips in there. Maybe I am not doing a good enough job at my work? Maybe I would have a tip if I didn’t just spend thirty minutes typing
this up at work?

Arizona Beauty

Recycle bin??

I have a question, can you recycle your recycle bin? At my work I have this old blue plastic can that says "We Recycle" on it. I've been putting my feet on it and now it's all cracked and I need a new one. In order for me to get a new can I have to get rid of this old one. Then the cleaning crew will come by and see I don't have a recycle can and drop off a brand new one.

Here is the problem, what do I do with the old one? If it was a garbage can I would put it in the garbage, but it's a recycle can, so does it go in the larger recycle bin? I am not sure, I think it can be recycled but I'm not sure, I looked on the approved list of items that can be recycled and recycle bins wasn't on the list. Plastic things are on the list, rubber things are on the list, the can is sort of plastic and sort of rubber. Hmmmm so confused.

Tyse

Erin, Me, Justin, Meghan in our new kitchen

My acceptence letter into the Carey School

Our House

WOW!! Jalapenos, you are tough!!!

I am done with jalapenos, I used to love these things. Last night I ordered a pizza with jalapenos on it, when the pizza came out it was just covered with jalapenos. Now a normal person or lets just say a women that doesn't have a huge ego to protect would pick off the excess jalapenos and not think twice about it. However, this type of logic doesn't exist in the brain of Tyse or any man for that matter, well at least any straight man. There I am, sitting down, looking at this pile o` jalapenos thinking of what to do. There are people all around, I cannot let them see me pick off these jalapenos, I must eat them all so I don't look like a pussy.

Now this is the part I don't understand, when did our society take a wrong turn and suddenly eating jalapenos means you are tough or something. How did this connection get started? I can just see a bunch of big guys sitting around a table eating nachos and acting tough, "Damn! Bob, that is 5 jalapenos for you, you are crazy, how much can you bench?" or "Hey sir, my mom is stuck under a car, I saw you take down 15 jalapenos over there, can you help her out?"

So I eat every damn jalapeno on my plate, I live in PHX, it was 115' yesterday. I am sitting at a booth in this pizza place with sweat rolling down my face and trying not to think about the fire that has taken over my mouth, it really burned. I am sure everyone in the restaurant was looking at me because I was sweating like a Mexican crossing the border with 6 kilo's in his trunk. I get up, wipe my face off, walk out to my car and start sweating again, I sit in my car and think, "why the hell didn't you just pick off those jalapenos you stupid idiot"

As of today I am no longer eating excess jalapenos to look tough, I have come to this conclusion after an entire night of heartburn and 4 trips to the bathroom today, 3 to shit, and 1 to rub bag balm on my anus due to the combination of hot fire jalapenos shooting out my ass and the rawness of wiping 36 times.

Tyse

ASU and the circle of hope.

I just got accepted to ASU's Tech MBA program on Friday July 1st. Classes start on Aug. 23rd which is a very short amount of time to get everything in order before classes start. The school tells me they will send out everything I need to know in my acceptance packet. I realize they have my old Utah address on file and I need to update this with my new AZ address. This is where all the fun began, I call the Tech MBA student services director to change my address and this is a step by step document of what happened as I can remember it:

SSD:ASU Student Services
Tyson: Hi, This is Tyson ******, I need to change my address
SSD:Are you a student here?
Tyson: I just got accepted.
SSD:Well congratulations Tyson, everything you need to know will be sent out in your acceptance packet, anything else?
Tyson: Wait, wait, that is why I need to change my address so I get the acceptance packet at the right address.
SSD: Oh, well I will look you up in the system and send you the instructions on how to change your address by email, Ok, thanks, bye.
Tyson:Wait, wait,
Dead air

So I wait for 10 mins and no email.

SSD: ASU Student Services
Tyson: Hi, it's Tyson again, I never got your email.
SSD: Well I sent it 5 mins ago.
Tyson: I Know, before you got off the phone I wanted to tell you the email address you have on file is no longer working since I don't live in Utah anymore.
SSD:Oh, well do you have a new email?
Tyson: Yes, it's ******@gmail.com
SSD:Ok, I will send that out ASAP.
Tyson: Thanks Bye.

I get the email and follow the directions.
It asks me for a ASURITE ID, I have no idea what that is.

SSD:ASU Student Services
Tyson: Hi, me again.
SSD: Hi
Tyson: This is asking me for a ASURITE ID, what is that?
SSD: Well you should of gotten an email from us with that info.
Tyson: I know, I don't have access to my old email because I moved from Utah and my ISP closed my account and I lost all my email.
SSD: Well we can't send out ASURITE ID's over the phone, I can send another copy to your email address on file.
Tyson: The email you have on file is wrong.
SSD: Well you will have to call the helpdesk then on the website.
Tyson: Ok thanks, bye.

HelpDesk:ASU Helpdesk, how can I help you.
Tyson: Hi, I am trying to access your website but it keeps asking me for a ASURITE ID and I dont' have that.
HelpDesk: Well you should of gotten that in an email
Tyson: I know, I don't have access to it anymore, can you just give me my ASURITE ID.
HelpDesk: You will have to get it from the registar
Tyson: Ok
HelpDesk: I will transfer you

Registar: Registar office how can I help you?
Tyson: Hi, I need to get my ASURITE ID so I can change my address and email address because I moved here from Utah and I cannot get into my email and my packet is getting sent out and I dont' want it going to the wrong address. So can you please just give me my ASURITE ID so I can take care of this?
Registar: Well are you a student here?
Tyson: Not yet, I just got accepted
Registar: Well when admissions puts your data into the computer it should generate an ASURITE ID and email it to you, Did you get the email?
Tyson: Is this a joke?
Registar:What do you mean?
Tyson: Nevermind, I didn't get the email because I don't have access to the email you have on file, I need to get my ASURITE ID to change my email address so I can change my physical address. Can you please just give it to me??
Registar: Well let me see if you are in the system, do you have your 9 digit ASU number?
Tyson: No, and please don't tell me it was in the stupid email.
Registar: Ok, I can see you are upset sir, but it was in the email. Let me just look it up by your last name.........silence...............
{after long awkward pause}
Tyson: Do you need my last name?
Registar:Yes
Tyson: It's ******
Registar: Oh, here you are, I see you have been accepted and looks like things are moving right along.
Tyson: Ok, does it show you my ASURITE ID?
Registar: Yes, I can see it right here.
Tyson: Ok, what is it?
Registar: Well we cannot give out this information over the phone, you will have to call admissions, here I will transfer you.

Admissions: ASU admissions office, how can I help you?
Tyson: Hi, can you give me my ASURITE ID or do you have to transfer me?
Admissions: Well that depends
Tyson: On what?
Admissions: Sir, how can I help you?
Tyson: I need to change my address so I can get the acceptance packet you are going to mail out.
Admissions: You have to change your address online, we cannot do that here.
Tyson: I was trying to do it online but it's asking me for a ASURITE ID
Admissions: Well you should of received an email from us with your id.
Tyson: I don't believe in email and I've never had an email address and I hope to never get one.
Admissions: Well then the only other choice is to post mail it.
Tyson: That would be great, do you want my new address?
Admissions: You have to change your address online......oh....(I can see the light bulb go on in her head)....I See your problem now.
Tyson: Well that is nice.
Admissions: Well there is all these rules about changing student data, do you have access to a fax?
Tyson: Yes
Admissions: Fax me a request to send out your ASURITE ID, with photo ID and Signature and I will Fax back your ASURITE ID.
Tyson: Great, thanks,

I am in complete shock as to why this was so hard, I know ASU has a rep for being a party school but maybe somebody should just lay off the drugs for a min so I can get my address changed.

Tyse