Tips

Why the hell does everyone in this county think they need a tip for doing their job? I am so sick of tipping everyone for doing what they are getting paid to do. Pizza guy, waitress, cab driver, skycap, valet, bellman, bar tender, massage therapist, paper boy, milk man, beautician, coffee shop server, card dealer. Every time I see that stupid tip line on my credit card receipt it pisses me off, just sitting there above the total line so you have to look at it, you try to ignore it, but it’s still there just looking up at you saying, “Don’t look away punk! You know I’m here, put the amount down loser”. I now have a new trick for the tip line, it’s called, “hand over tip line trick.” This is how it works, when you get your receipt and you see the tip line, put your hand over both the tip line and total line and just sign at the bottom acting like you never saw the tip line because you were using your hand to hold the paper. However, if you get a really crazy tip demanding person, they will say, “oh sir, you forgot to put in the total”, in which you can reply, “oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t even see it.” This is usually when the voice in my head says, “stupid tip demanding person, taking all my money for doing a crappy job, I hate you and your tip line, burn in hell!!” Then I put down the $1.00 tip and walk away.

Why the hell do I have to feel guilty for not giving them a tip? Tips used to be rare, unexpected, if you thought someone went well out of their way to help you then you could show them some gratitude with a tip. But now it’s just expected you have to tip them for doing a normal job, if they do a bad job then you can punish them with only a 10% tip. WHAT THE HELL!!! They did a shitty job so I am going to show them, HA! Take that you shitty waiter; you are only getting 10%. You are still paying the guy 10% bonus for doing a crappy job!!! That is so screwed up!

I work in an office, 9-5 normal job. I would love to just take naps during work, come late, leave early, miss work, and only do half my job. Then have my boss sit down and say, “Well since you have been slacking off, we are only going to give you a 10% bonus instead of 15% or 20%.” Then you have that damn tip jar, everybody has a tip jar. The other day I went to a pizza place to pick up my carryout pizza order and by the register was a tip jar, so I think to myself, “the reason why people come to pick up their pizza is because they don’t want to pay a tip.” So I asked the guy, “why do you have a tip jar?” he says, “well it’s for anyone who thinks we are doing a good job” Then I said, “well I think I do a good job at my work and nobody gives me a tip? And he says, “well do you have a tip jar?” I just sort of sat there for a minute, I didn’t have a tip jar, what was I going to say to the guy? So I just said, “good point”, took my pizza and left.

Now there is a tip jar sitting on my desk next to the entry way to my cubical so everyone can see it, it’s empty, but I think someday I will get some tips in there. Maybe I am not doing a good enough job at my work? Maybe I would have a tip if I didn’t just spend thirty minutes typing
this up at work?