Call Center Archives, Vol. 1

After posting the "Take The Dollar Leave The Pizza!" story and talking to a few of my friends I have been inspired to write about some of the phone calls and pranks I experienced while working in a call center for a major satellite company. I don't want to use any company names so I will just call them, No-middle-man TV

I worked in this call center for a few years and there were several events that I still talk about to this day because they were either very crazy or funny.

Before I start I am not sure if these stories are coming across the way I want them to, when I tell these stories at parties or in person people seem to think they're very funny. However, reading a story and hearing it are two very different things.

So here is the plan, most of these stories are rather short, so I am going to write this one up and if it goes over ok and people find it funny I will continue with the next, if not this might be the first and last of the Call Center Archives. Be sure to leave a comment and let me know if the story is working or not.

Call Center Archives, Vol. 1

Company X sells every cable and normal channel you can think of, HBO, TNT, CBS, CNN. They also sell Pay Per View options such as movies and sporting events. On this day none of the above channels were on the menu for this caller. This caller only had one channel in mind, The Playboy Channel!

Before I continue, I need to fill you in on a small detail. Some customers will place a password on their account to avoid any unauthorized changes/charges. It is corporate policy to not make any changes to a password protected account without the caller verifying the password first.

Here is how this call went down:
Me: Thank you for calling "Company X" how can I help you?
Caller: Um...Yeah, I would like to order the playboy channel.
Me: I will be happy to help you with that sir, what is your home phone number?
Caller: 999-999-9999
Me: Ok, Mr. Smith it looks like you have a password on your account, can you verify that for me?
Caller: Um...Is it 83?
Me: No, that is not the password. (The password was something like 2450)
Caller: Ok, thanks, bye
Me: Thank you for calling Company X

I have included some audio of how the caller sounded. Click here

I didn't think much of it other than the fact I knew it was some stupid kid trying to order the Playboy channel. Then about an hour later I heard this little gem from my coworker:
Coworker: Do you have the password sir?
Coworker: No, it's not 92
Coworker: Thanks for calling Company X

About another hour went by and somebody else got the same call again, by the end of the night everyone had heard the story and we were all anticipating our next call to see if it was the kid. Other reps would lead him on and tell him things like, "Oh 102 is so close but you're still a little off"

If I was that little boy and I had successfully ordered the Playboy Channel just once, and then I was caught and now all that stood between me and the Playboy channel was a little password.

Well I have to say, I would be doing the same exact thing as that kid but times 1000. I would of stopped going to church and school, all non-getting-playboy-back-on-TV activities would cease, food and water would become a total annoyance that took up valuable phone calling time, I would recruit all my friends to help with the calling. Any requests for my help would revolve around the password, e.g. "Hey son, will you try and figure out what is wrong with my computer?", "Sure Dad, what is the password?", "Well, my computer Passwor..........", "Dad, Dad, come on, don't play dumb with me, you know which password I am talking about, now unless your computer password applies to more than just your computer I cannot help you."

Here is a small example of what my Christmas, Birthday, and Easter list would look like:

1. Password
2. Password
3. Password
4. Password
5. Password

I wonder if that kid ever guessed the password, I bet he did and now is running some major corporation because he has that much ambition and dedication.

Tyse