Starbucks!

I watched an interview on TV the other night with the CEO of Starbucks. He commented that Starbucks is in the people business.

This struck me as strange because you would assume they are in the coffee business. He went on to say that Starbucks spends a lot of time and money training there employees to be people oriented. Since I saw this interview I have noticed the employees at Starbucks really do try to be friendly and happy. However, I have also noticed some exceptions to this policy. Being the Good Samaritan that I am I have decided to put together a list of advice for all Starbucks employees:

1. Just because you have had 9 espresso shots doesn’t mean everyone else has. Just calm your peppy ass down and take my order.
2. I will specify when you can use a shorter version of the name I give you, don't call me T or Tyse without my permission, I don't say, "give me an Amero or give me an A", I say, "Americano".
3. At 7:00 AM I am really not in the mood for your stupid Tyson jokes. I am never really in the mood but I can usually tolerate them much better later in the day. @ 7 AM I am just not in the mood to give you that fake head nod and smile which confirms that you’re a total jackass when you say, “Tyson…..like the boxer? Hahaha”
4. When I say I need room for cream in my Americano that means I need some room, not half the cup.
5. Drive Thru Starbucks

Here is how my drive thru order went today:

Welcome to Starbucks what can I get started for you?

One Tall Vanilla Latte`

Is that everything?

No, I need an extra shot in that latte` please

Ok, anything else?

Yes, I need that with Soy and no whip.

Is that everything?

No, I also want a tall Americano

Is that it then?

No, I need room for cream in that Americ.....

Anything Else?

YES! I need a Blueberry Coffee Cake

Is that everything then?

No, I need a bagel and cream cheese

Is that everything?

Yes

Ok, your total is $9.94 at the second window

The reason why most people use the drive thru is time. However, others, like me, use the drive thru so we don’t have to deal with the fake, peppy, caffeine junkies inside the Starbucks. But when people act like this in the drive thru defeats the entire purpose. Now when you’re at the mercy of people serving you food it’s not a good idea to piss them off until after they have given you what you need, hence this blog post. Which brings me to point 6:

6. I will tell you when I am done with my order, don’t keep busting my balls by asking me, “is there anything else?” at the end of everything I say.

Tyse