Bad News Day!
Bad news today for the economy. Oil is up, Unemployment is up, and the Dow is down:
I have a bad habit of internalizing and visualizing my fears when I read bad news. For example, after I read the news above I visualized myself unemployed, paying $15.00 a gallon for gas, all my stocks had tanked, and I was eating shitty fast food from Burger King. But then I realized this was irrational, not because it couldn't happen to me but because if I was unemployed I really wouldn't care how much gas costs because where would I be going? My stocks would be liquidated long before I would be stressing about them. I felt better after thinking it over, but I am still haunted about the fast food thing. I remember reading that fast food companies do a lot better during a recession. I mean if you're really hurting for money and McDonald's has a $.99 cent menu what are you going to do? I hate fast food just as much as the next guy but I think I might actually have to eat it if I was totally broke. At least there is the chance that you might get some free food or some cash from the contests they are always doing. I know McDonald's does the Monopoly thing but I wasn't quite sure what the others do, I decided to look it up, this is what I found:
Now with these five prizes does something seem a little out of the ordinary? Maybe a little, "One of these kids is doing their own thing".
I will give you a hint:
A Hummer H2! Really? Are you serious? Is that really a prize? That seems like a liability to me. Lets see, you have to pay like $20K in taxes, and you get a ride that costs you $20.00 to drive down the street to the gas station. This sorta reminds me of those white elephant parties you used to go to as a kid. You walk in and there are all these presents wrapped up, and in your mind you're thinking, "Sweet, I just had to bring this lame, pile of shit toy and I am going to get a sweet present....wait, what is that? Another dirty white teddy bear....oh man, all these presents suck....I just want to keep my toy and go home"
This is just like buying some gross ass food at BK and then entering a contest thinking you're going to win some big cash. Instead a jackass shows up at your house with a free H2, and your thinking, "What do you want me to do with that? Can I exchange this for a Whopper or something?" It's like giving a one legged man a bicycle.
Here are the contest details with regard to wining the Hummer:
2008 HUMMER H2 Adventure. The 2008 HUMMER H2 Adventure features standard interior and exterior equipment, standard safety and security features and the Adventure package, which includes self-leveling rear air suspension system, onboard air compressor, Wow, this is important, just today I was like, "Hey babe, can you take your seat belt off and hand me the air compressor?....what? This car doesn't have one, what a bunch of shit" brush grille guard, first aid and tool kit. Vehicle will be delivered via an authorized HUMMER dealer closest to the winner's residence. All vehicle details, including colors and options, will be determined by Sponsor, in its sole discretion. So this pretty much means you're getting a bright orange Hummer. Any upgrades or options not listed above must be arranged by and paid for by the winner. Delivery of vehicle is subject to availability. Oh I am sure that won't be a problem, I don't see a run on Hummer dealerships in the near future. Allow at least 16 weeks for delivery of vehicle after verification of prize claim and eligibility. Ok, why does it take 16 weeks after verification? Is this amount of time it takes to save up for the gas required to drop off the H2? Winner must present his/her current valid driver's license and proof of insurance prior to taking possession of the vehicle OR winner may accept a check for $55,000 payable to winner. OR, did they really just say OR, like you can have A or B, who is going to take an H2 over $55K in cash? "Tyse, you can have $500 dollars OR I am going to drop kick you in the face? Which is it?"
But hey, at least we got our tax rebates right? Or as I like to put it, Bush tolerance payments. I know the tax rebates were entirely Bush's idea, I know they came to him an were like, "Yo Dubuya, the numbers are in and you suck, you are now officially the worst president ever", "Well Mr. Advisor dude, I am going to ask you the same question I asked all of my teachers that told me I was failing, How much do I need to write this check out for?"
$600 for me and $600 for my wife, thank you very much!
Tyse
I have a bad habit of internalizing and visualizing my fears when I read bad news. For example, after I read the news above I visualized myself unemployed, paying $15.00 a gallon for gas, all my stocks had tanked, and I was eating shitty fast food from Burger King. But then I realized this was irrational, not because it couldn't happen to me but because if I was unemployed I really wouldn't care how much gas costs because where would I be going? My stocks would be liquidated long before I would be stressing about them. I felt better after thinking it over, but I am still haunted about the fast food thing. I remember reading that fast food companies do a lot better during a recession. I mean if you're really hurting for money and McDonald's has a $.99 cent menu what are you going to do? I hate fast food just as much as the next guy but I think I might actually have to eat it if I was totally broke. At least there is the chance that you might get some free food or some cash from the contests they are always doing. I know McDonald's does the Monopoly thing but I wasn't quite sure what the others do, I decided to look it up, this is what I found:
Now with these five prizes does something seem a little out of the ordinary? Maybe a little, "One of these kids is doing their own thing".
I will give you a hint:
A Hummer H2! Really? Are you serious? Is that really a prize? That seems like a liability to me. Lets see, you have to pay like $20K in taxes, and you get a ride that costs you $20.00 to drive down the street to the gas station. This sorta reminds me of those white elephant parties you used to go to as a kid. You walk in and there are all these presents wrapped up, and in your mind you're thinking, "Sweet, I just had to bring this lame, pile of shit toy and I am going to get a sweet present....wait, what is that? Another dirty white teddy bear....oh man, all these presents suck....I just want to keep my toy and go home"
This is just like buying some gross ass food at BK and then entering a contest thinking you're going to win some big cash. Instead a jackass shows up at your house with a free H2, and your thinking, "What do you want me to do with that? Can I exchange this for a Whopper or something?" It's like giving a one legged man a bicycle.
Here are the contest details with regard to wining the Hummer:
2008 HUMMER H2 Adventure. The 2008 HUMMER H2 Adventure features standard interior and exterior equipment, standard safety and security features and the Adventure package, which includes self-leveling rear air suspension system, onboard air compressor, Wow, this is important, just today I was like, "Hey babe, can you take your seat belt off and hand me the air compressor?....what? This car doesn't have one, what a bunch of shit" brush grille guard, first aid and tool kit. Vehicle will be delivered via an authorized HUMMER dealer closest to the winner's residence. All vehicle details, including colors and options, will be determined by Sponsor, in its sole discretion. So this pretty much means you're getting a bright orange Hummer. Any upgrades or options not listed above must be arranged by and paid for by the winner. Delivery of vehicle is subject to availability. Oh I am sure that won't be a problem, I don't see a run on Hummer dealerships in the near future. Allow at least 16 weeks for delivery of vehicle after verification of prize claim and eligibility. Ok, why does it take 16 weeks after verification? Is this amount of time it takes to save up for the gas required to drop off the H2? Winner must present his/her current valid driver's license and proof of insurance prior to taking possession of the vehicle OR winner may accept a check for $55,000 payable to winner. OR, did they really just say OR, like you can have A or B, who is going to take an H2 over $55K in cash? "Tyse, you can have $500 dollars OR I am going to drop kick you in the face? Which is it?"
But hey, at least we got our tax rebates right? Or as I like to put it, Bush tolerance payments. I know the tax rebates were entirely Bush's idea, I know they came to him an were like, "Yo Dubuya, the numbers are in and you suck, you are now officially the worst president ever", "Well Mr. Advisor dude, I am going to ask you the same question I asked all of my teachers that told me I was failing, How much do I need to write this check out for?"
$600 for me and $600 for my wife, thank you very much!
Tyse
posted by tyse at
10:46 PM
1 Comments:
Randomly came across your blog. Funny shit man! Got me rollin'! haha. Thanks for the laughs!
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