WOW!! Jalapenos, you are tough!!!

I am done with jalapenos, I used to love these things. Last night I ordered a pizza with jalapenos on it, when the pizza came out it was just covered with jalapenos. Now a normal person or lets just say a women that doesn't have a huge ego to protect would pick off the excess jalapenos and not think twice about it. However, this type of logic doesn't exist in the brain of Tyse or any man for that matter, well at least any straight man. There I am, sitting down, looking at this pile o` jalapenos thinking of what to do. There are people all around, I cannot let them see me pick off these jalapenos, I must eat them all so I don't look like a pussy.

Now this is the part I don't understand, when did our society take a wrong turn and suddenly eating jalapenos means you are tough or something. How did this connection get started? I can just see a bunch of big guys sitting around a table eating nachos and acting tough, "Damn! Bob, that is 5 jalapenos for you, you are crazy, how much can you bench?" or "Hey sir, my mom is stuck under a car, I saw you take down 15 jalapenos over there, can you help her out?"

So I eat every damn jalapeno on my plate, I live in PHX, it was 115' yesterday. I am sitting at a booth in this pizza place with sweat rolling down my face and trying not to think about the fire that has taken over my mouth, it really burned. I am sure everyone in the restaurant was looking at me because I was sweating like a Mexican crossing the border with 6 kilo's in his trunk. I get up, wipe my face off, walk out to my car and start sweating again, I sit in my car and think, "why the hell didn't you just pick off those jalapenos you stupid idiot"

As of today I am no longer eating excess jalapenos to look tough, I have come to this conclusion after an entire night of heartburn and 4 trips to the bathroom today, 3 to shit, and 1 to rub bag balm on my anus due to the combination of hot fire jalapenos shooting out my ass and the rawness of wiping 36 times.

Tyse